WASH YOUR FACE

Hi, everyone, how are you all doing? These past few days were not so easy for Uchevelli, but what can a Nigga do? I just got a tooth extracted from my mouth 3 days ago, this was my first time of do such a thing and I pray it’s my last cos that is not it at all. This was one of the most painful shit I have ever gone thru in my short life on earth, Gaddamn! I have been dodging this extraction process for almost six months, I started by filling, but when the pain was unbearable, I had no choice………I couldn’t sleep at night, I couldn’t drink cold water, no more eating of suya……….omo, I couldn’t stand spending the rest of my life in detention of not having a good time, I removed the Goddamned tooth and my life is gradually returning back to normal, thank God.

Well, the “koko” for the day is a funny one, taking a cue from Dbanj – (“koko” is a Nigerian slang for the current issue or the issue at hand invented by the artist called D’banj). I went to the bank today to get a piece of the stipends I have been gathering, usually anytime am approaching anyone early in the morning, I tend to observe first to see the countenance of the individual am approaching, if its not positively encouraging, I move to the next person cos I don’t want to get a dose of your bad luck or yesterday’s sorrow, thereby spoiling my good day. Even when you want to woo a lady, her countenance and response prompts your level of commitment. If she is nice and friendly, why not? But some will just roar at you, at customers and sometimes at their bosses… and in most cases, it’s not usually pleasant.

Why allow past sorrow to deny you of today’s joy? Like I was saying, am stepping into the bank, am looking for the smiley face on the counter, if that face is not smiling, am moving the next person. Don’t get me wrong, but am all about positivity. How can you be a successful entrepreneur if you can t handle your emotions? How can you be a celebrity when you can’t move on after a bad experience? I don’t wanna know what you’ve been thru, not because I don’t care but because I got my own shit too. Keep it to yourself, its yours! I don’t want to look at your face and see that you just had a quarrel with your spouse last night or this morning, no… keep all that shit at home.

Unforgiveness helps to stall the progress of some people, they find it hard to move on which is not a very good thing. You have to be emotional prostitutes… if you catch my drift. Yes, you just went thru a divorce… sorry, but girl you have to move on. You can’t keep on crying your life out because of some daft punk who didn’t know your worth, wash your face and move on, till you meet that guy who has been searching for a lady like you. If you are walking round feeling moody and angry at yourself, how will the new guy come and say hi, you might scare him off. Wash your face.

You just lost your job? ... sorry, wash your face and move on, don’t stay there licking your wounds, nobody wants to hear your sorry story, no, no, no, they want to know how you got up and turned that situation around to make history. So don’t give up trying… wash your face of the past sorrows, past disappointments, past betrayals, etc.

You just caught your man cheating on you? Wash your face, learn from your mistakes and move on... don’t start hating all men because one fool who is less than a real man dumped you for his secretary, can’t you see that he wasn’t meant for you in the first place? But if that fool is your husband… well that’s some real shit, wash your face. Do what you think is best and move on, just do something, don’t stay there looking confused, acting confused to the extent that everyone that looks at you knows what you are passing thru. Look at them Hollywood stars, they just keep smiling no matter what they are passing thru, be like that, don’t come to work looking like you just had a fight, even if you did, wash that face, freshen up and come to work looking like a beauty queen that you are. Don’t let some fool steal your joy.

If your lecturer has a nagging wife, and he had a bad night… why are you wondering why almost the whole class failed his course? I don’t want to talk about the same scenario in the case of a policeman… have you heard of anything like accidental discharge? Or a doctor … or dentist… or even a mechanic, he could forget to fix the brakes or not tighten one or two nuts somewhere in the engine because he couldn’t get over his emotions, imagine the havoc that could cause. Nigga, wash your face and move on.

When am talking about being an emotional prostitute, am talking about having your emotions in check. A prostitute always has her money as the top priority, even if she had the best time, hope you are paying? No matter how much a whore loves you, digs your lovemaking, your style or efizi, hope you got her money intact, otherwise… whether the transaction is pleasant or not, the whore is moving on, adding that episode to her experiences, life must go on.

You as an individual should not tie your heart to a failed relationship, or a past betrayal, you caught your wife with another man, you pick a gun, to do what now? Kill the other man and go to jail to spend the rest of your miserable life? Will it stop the whore you have for a wife from enjoying herself (spending your money)? Nigga wash your face and move on. If you can forgive, forgive her, if not, cheat on her too… with her best friend, if that will make you feel better, then wash your face… ha ha ha (just joking).

You got to luv yourself first before you can love any other person, don’t carry a moody face because you have a drunk for a husband, look for ways to solve the problem but keep that bright and shiny face, I don’t want to see your weepy face, that doesn’t mean he should turn you to a punching bag. Do something, but while you are still at it, keep your head up, don’t give in to the pressure, don’t compromise because others are saying yes, fuck ‘em all.

You think your situation is worse, wait till you hear what manner of problems people have, and then you will thank God for your problems. Some people have ship loads of problems but they are still grateful to God… even to be alive. Would you prefer to be rich, no problems and then die in a plan crash? Like my grand mother would say “a live goat is better than a dead lion, no matter how you look at it”, and that is true. I don’t envy rich men cos (like Biggy said) more money, more problems. Tell me what good $1 Billion dollars would do me if I have a defective heart or a terrible cancer? Don’t envy other people’s wealth and leave their problems, if you wanna envy, envy the whole package, I mean their HIV status too… ha ha ha.

Life has taught me that problems are a part of life and that they are temporary in nature. Why should I spend the rest of my days crying over spilled milk when that was the problem of yesterday, today, more milk will still get spilled, so what the heck? Yesterday’s problem is only a distraction, a self inflicted one at that, wash your face, wash the stains of yesterday’s milk and move on with your life. It is people with carry-over issues that commit suicide, shoot someone else because of a failed marriage or a bad relationship… bla…bla…bla.


The ability to heal from your past wounds, and step up to the coming challenges is what makes you matured, you have to stand up for what you believe ignoring what the odds are or what people are saying. Some people specialize in studying your life, they know when you have new clothes, when you are happy, when you are broke, they just live their lives by watching you and talking rubbish, well its because am something that why am your topic of discussion, why am I not talking about you, sorry, its because you irrelevant, I just live my life doing the best I can, I can’t tell you the shit they say about me, so what? They are really gonna have a lot to talk about because am just getting started.

Well, try to have fun, enjoy yourself, if you love booze, drink moderately, if you love ladies, go for them, enjoy life, don’t endure life. Don’t save forever, only to die and have people like us spend it for you, take yourself out sometimes, give yourself a treat sometimes, meet people, have fun. If you love movies, go to the cinema, if you love porno… well… You know what to do, if you love good food, do Chinese sometimes... If you can afford it, go shopping; buy yourself some expensive shit, do something crazy, go on trips sometimes…once its something you enjoy, do it… don’t do drugs o. Even when you have problems… wash your face. It’s still your boy… Uchevelli, take care.